Holi - (The festival of colors) signifies the victory of good over evil, the arrival of spring, end of winter, and for many a festive day to meet others, play and laugh, forget and forgive, and repair broken relationships. (Wikepedia)
ME: Thinking out loud...I'm wondering ....when did it become Ok, for people to go through life alone? To make decisions, overcome challenges, fears, walk, run, leap, fall, crawl.... alone? And when we cry, and we're scared, when the "things that need to be done" take you down and make you vulnerable, why is there no real reaction?
No real understanding?
Why are you expected to be "Super" when you're mortal and human. Why does "I have (insert fatal or none fatal disease here)" most times gets a better supportive reaction/response than "I am depressed... I need to cry","I need some help with getting through the day". Why is vulnerability so "Heavy", "Too Much", Misunderstood. Should I explain I'm not angry or bitter?
I'm sad. But I can't express my sadness because no one likes to see that emotion. It's too heavy, too troubled, too vulnerable. It's best to look away. Stay away. We'll show up when you're ready to smile. When you're ready to laugh. When you're ready to pretend that everything is alright. And if I write a blog post about Sadness and not just Happiness, will I become ostracized, watched from afar with a curious eye?
Will they all finally come back if I did a post on ice cream with sprinkles on top. Or if I did a post on how I conquered sad moments alone because I'm strong, super, independent, a survivor. The lone Heroine. Well that's even worse.
Because sad moments should be allowed a voice just like happy moments. Because sadness should not have to be conquered alone or wished away.
Those moments matter too. They need understanding not ostracizing. Because you should be able to cry out loud as well as laugh out loud.
Because you shouldn't have to fake a smile and profound resilience, chocking on your tears until you can find a hidden place, a private space to cry out loud. Sometimes that hidden space can't be found, so you hold the tears down even longer. But no one can tell. No one wants to stick around. Because you're not laughing out loud.
MF (male friend): I think you're making very valid points. I'm guilty of it; I know other people's sadness makes me uncomfortable. It may have something to do with my inability to deal with my own sadness.
But sadness is an emotion as valid as all the others. Reading your piece I can't help but to think of that animated movie about emotions - Inside Out.
Frankly, it's exactly what you're talking about. We can't be happy all of the time; we shouldn't be expected to be so. And because were unhappy, we don't necessarily want to be alone; nor in most situations should we be. To steal one of your favorite words, we should be more kind to one another and respect one another.
ME: This wasn't meant to be finger pointing- more of a reflection towards a sudden awareness I had. An awareness about humanity and our instinctual reaction to sadness.
Within ourselves and in others. You're right, those are the times we should be more kind. Those are the times we should be more helpful.
Ask what part we can play to relieve the burden, their anxiety, their fears. And follow through. It's easy to assume there's nothing we can do. That sadness is personal. To say - "I'll leave you under your gray cloud and I'll be waaaaay over there IF you need me".
But happiness and laughter are not personal. It seems everyone wants to share in your joy. Whether you invite them in or not. They even want to take a piece of your joy with them. "Goals" they say; living vicariously through you. And that's fine too. But Sadness will never get an RSVP, even if you tried.
Romans 12 10:16 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.
Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.
Live in harmony with one another.
ME: If I can speak on how to react to sadness- I'd say treat it, react to it, the same way we do happiness. Embrace it like a friend, not an enemy or an unwanted house guest.
Let it have its hour, its day, its week.
I've noticed when I give it the same acknowledgement and honesty I give my other emotions it doesn't seem so heavy after all. Yes, it's not like Joy or Happiness, but it's still a valid emotion.
Just like the seasons - winter, summer, spring, and fall. I'd say Sadness is like Fall approaching Winter- vulnerable, like the trees loosing their leaves. But if you dwell too long at the stark, lonely, nakedness of the once colorful limbs, you'll miss the tiny buds coming through. Signalling a new season of renewal and second chances. But first, let the leaves fall.
MF: You're gonna post/blog this, right?
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